Secret Weapons?

_{Note: G1-verse with 1 blink-and-you'll-miss-him movie-verse cameo.}
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Megatron resisted the urge to beat his head against the wall in frustration. Had someone told him when he was selecting his officers back at the beginning of the rebellion that his appointed second and third had a history, he would have laughed and thought them mad. So far as he'd known, Soundwave and Starscream hadn't even met before he hand-picked them from the rest of the hopefuls as part of his central command team.

Then again, Megatron would be the first to admit that he was blind where matters of the spark were concerned, which was why it had taken him nearly a full annual cycle to realize that his second and third spent just about all of their downtime together and that said second was acting a bit more short-tempered than usual. Even then, it had still taken the combined insistence of his medical team, Soundwave, and more than a few thrown datapads courtesy of Starscream to convince the tyrant that yes his second and third in command were interfacing regularly, yes they had been doing so since long before joining the Decepticon faction, and yes Starscream was carrying as a result.

He had initially been frustrated because he felt that war was no place to raise a sparkling. Or sparklings, as the case turned out, seeing as the newspark decided to split rather abruptly only ten joors before spark separation occurred – although the organized chaos resulting from that little surprise had been amusing, with Blackout snapping orders to the Constructicons to get a second frame built right slagging now before I decide to store the pair of them in one of you until its finished. It only took six orns for him to reverse his thought process entirely.

Megatron was now thoroughly convinced that the war would be over in three breems if he could somehow set Rumble and Frenzy loose in the Autobots' base of operations.

The tyrant winced slightly as the red sparkling shrieked in annoyance as his spark bearer pulled him down from the ceiling fixtures for what had to be the third time in as many microns. How the hell the little groundling kept getting up that high was a mystery for the ages, and Starscream – known throughout the ranks for his short tempter – apparently had infinite patience where his offspring was concerned. Frenzy snarled at his bearer and proceeded to gnaw viciously at his fingers even as the seeker walked quietly back to his workstation.

Soundwave looked up, expression as unreadable as ever behind his mask and visor, and gave his mate a brief nod. The small, lighter blue sparkling in his lap unshuttered one optic and chirred sleepily at his twin before dropping back into recharge. Rumble's apparent innocence had come at the price of the little blue terror racing around the command center not half a joor previously, clicking and chirping loudly in some bastardized half-sparkling-half-seeker dialect and plowing down any innocent bystander in his path; Thundercracker was still shooting annoyed glares at the recharging Unicron spawn while Dead End and Dirge were both convinced that Rumble was going to be the doom of the entire faction.

"Status: Frenzy?" the third in command asked, monotonous tone grating to Megatron's audio receptors as always.

"Torqued off and probably planning to escape again within the next two breems," Starscream replied, his own rasping voice softened slightly by the low tone he used in an attempt not to disturb the other Decepticons on duty. As if in answer to his code writer's question and spark bearer's prediction, Frenzy let loose with another shriek and resumed biting at blue fingers. Starscream rolled his optics towards the ceiling and sat down, shifting his hold on the sparkling only enough to reach his console.

Megatron shook his head and rubbed wearily between his optics. Maybe that idea of dropping the little menaces off in the Autobots' base wasn't that good an idea. There were codes of conduct against cruel and unusual punishment, after all.